x2. Red.
February 20, 2009
Argh. Where’s my self-control???
It’s Lily’s movie night, which means she and T curl up in our bed with Dora and some popcorn. I went to throw away their emptied microwave popcorn bag and noticed 3 small pieces of fluffy white tempting me from the bottom of the bag…not even full kernels. And I ate them. Which probably would be fine, but….
Shortly after, I was looking in the pantry for some salt to pour into my water bottle. See, I’ve been feeling faint when standing up, more than previous days, and decided I’ve not been drinking enough water. The tasteless stuff just doesn’t appeal, so I poured in some bottled lemon juice and a bit of agave nectar, and then decided to add some salt, too. Because, see, that little bit of popcorn told my body: get salt!
But what else is salty? Oh, there’s an open bag of Snapea Crisps. I’ll just have one or two while I look for the damn table salt. Oh, heaven. (And man are they salty when you haven’t eaten solid food in days! It’s almost too much.) And let me just try a small bit of Carol’s rice cereal that I’d not seen before. (A bit stale. No more of that.) And some of these old spicy rice crackers…just 4…that’s enough. And now a handful, 4-6, of more Snapea Crisps…and another handful.
And a large spoonful of flax-seed-peanut-butter for good measure. Sigh.
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Incidentally, I’ve been trying to get in to see this “anthroposophic” MD named Dr. Cowan, but can’t get an appointment before March 2, which seems awfully far away for just 10 days. I called his office again today to beg, and they said he’d already left for the weekend and to call back on Monday…and meanwhile, try starting the GAPS diet, which is part of what he’ll prescribe. Needless to say, what I ate today is not Intro-GAPS-legal.
Update: Double sigh. Add a stick of string cheese, 2 slices of salami, some Nut Thins, and later rice noodles in peanut sauce. God, it felt good to chew. But there’s something seriously wrong with my brain, and I feel really guilty.
Large, bright spot of b hovering over all brown. Results of the peanut butter substitute experiment, perhaps? Mild c2p. In fact, though I’ve had some cramping with pretty much every bm of late, I realize now that the accompanying soreness hasn’t been there so much. (But what does it all mean?…)
