Blood sugar: 120.
(And it was 90 at 17:45.)
February 9, 2009
I’d pinned the volley of pain and bleeding throughout today’s bms, but now a new possibility occurs to me.
Yeterday afternoon, in another foolish effort to make not eating palatable, I crushed open a clove of garlic and dropped it in my bowl of broth. Didn’t eat the clove, of course, which makes it all the more galling: to have such a strong reaction to a small amount of an oil that’s supposed to be healthful.
Sigh. It feels hopeless today.
Bloody and painful. And I still don’t want to eat, yet I’m so hungry!
As I was on the verge of soiling the City CarShare on this one, I pulled over at the first public-ish bathroom I could find: a Burger King. Managed OK, though I did have to wipe the seat down after, along with my inner thigh, and balled my slightly spotted boxers up in a pocket of my TPN bag to avoid the cold, wet feeling of contact on the drive home.
Like I said, I’m so hungry, and felt so hopeless at the major setback of having so much pain and blood, I was tempted to just say, “Fuckit!” and order a cheeseburger. For now, though, the thought I should have been relying on for months kicked in, and I walked out unscathed by solid food.
“Is this worth a lifetime with no colon?”
Up until now, the question has seemed hyperbolic. One indiscretion doesn’t automatically dictate surgery. And yet, with less than 7 days remaining for decision-making (according to my original plan), a single day of setback is over 10% wasted recovery time.
Nothing enteric but water seems entirely safe. I’ll still allow low-dose iron and broth/stock, but for now, even orange juice is suspect. Sorry noni. Sorry Tic Tacs.
Ow. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this kind of intestinal pain. Makes me not want to eat, or even move.
1 iron, Willy St bottle, just in case my sudden urgency I related not to the cortenema but to mixing in the Hemagenics.
Aaand again.
The urgency is proceeded by a discomfort that I gauge to be higher up the colon. Since I’ve got an appointment w/Dr. Kazantsev, who I think is Chief of Surgery at Kaoser, today, I’ll ask him if this I likely a response to the cortenema, and also whether he knows why a liquid diet might produce so much bile.
